Confessions of A Reformed Hoe

Peace and Blessings to all! I humbly apologize for the delay in this post, this next guest I’ve had the privilege of meeting through my frat brotha. This young lady is apart of a wonderful sorority Sigma Gamma Rho, her name is Ms. Dominique Grant. You can follow her on twitter by clicking HERE. Although most might say this story is different from the typical stories on this blog, BUT the principles and lesson gained from this story is just as tremendous as any post on this blog, we now would like to present “Confessions of A Reformed Hoe”

Confessions of A Reformed Hoe

 

“I’ve gone from saint to whore and back to saint again, all in one lifetime.” Ingrid Bergman

I use to be a hoe. Emphasis on Use to be. Now I know that this may seem strange that a person, no wait a woman, is actually willing to admit to not only herself, but to others that she use be a bit loose. Well it’s a part of me. I can’t share my world and only expose the “good” things. As a little girl I was always sexually curious. I always explored the taboo act of masturbation and experimented with others. That was elementary school. When I got to middle school, seventh grade really, I got a little out of hand. Now where I went to school at, it wasn’t uncommon for girls to “date” boys, but I took it to another level. I was a fast a**. Keep in mind, I didn’t think that I was the most attractive thing in the world, but I had figured out something that I was, a freak. Even in the seventh grade I knew being a freak was a more valuable characteristic than being pretty. I’m not sure exactly how I let people know what kind of girl I was, but they eventually figured it out and I became “popular.” Now see, I wasn’t giving up the pussy, but there was a lot of fingering, touching, kissing, hand holding, jacking and titty f**king. Okay anything, but the actual penis penetration.
The first time I was suppose to have sex was in the seventh grade with this boy who looked like Jay-Z. Okay now before you say, damn that ain’t cute, I know that. How he looked didn’t matter. I knew only one thing about him, he was nasty, and that alone was enough of a reason to date him. After we started talking, I skipped the after school program, so that I could walk to shallow side and get my rocks off in his apartment’s stairway. Classy. Well he eventually grew bored with that after a couple of weeks and wanted to have sex. I remember I told my best friend at the time and of course she told me not to go through with it. There was no way I was listening to her lame, respectable advice.
Mac-Head (a.K.a. Jay-Z Jr) pulled back the covers and told me to undress. I looked at the sheets and looked at him and said “Um see my friend told me not to this. Sorry.” Okay the truth was, if he would’ve pulled back those damn covers off the bed and let me slip underneath them, I would have had sex. I was too self-conscious to be exposed like that and I just made my friend out to be a cock-blocker because of my insecurities.
If you can’t already tell, I had no standards in middle school. I mean c’mon, it was damn middle school. I dated boys who barely spoke English, gay, questionable, gay, but didn’t know it yet, tall, skinny, single, in a relationship, drop outs, drug dealers. Yeah it really didn’t matter. Equal opportunity employer over here. I could be with a boy for two weeks, break-up with him, then be with another boy in five minutes. Had to line them up.
My High school years were rather boring on the hoe front. I started dating seriously and only performing sexual acts with guys I was in a relationship with. Okay, not really. I had relations with guys I was interested in having a relationship with.
In college I took friends with a benefit to another level! God knows, I did not know how important my self-worth was and how beneficial high self-esteem is. The people I did were. . . urrr eh. . . um urrr. . . aw yea. From the summer of 05 to about 2007, I was out and about Tallahassee just serving up the pussy like $1.99 nuggets from McDonalds. Just cheap. I led a reckless life back then. Looking back on it, I can’t regret doing everything that I did because it was a necessary part of my development. I just wish I would have understood what I was doing to myself. I used sexual freedom as my excuse. My validation was, I was sexing because I wanted to. My partners were being used and not vise versa. Societal gender restrictions have had such a negative impact on the perception that we have on “expressive” women that my reputation, like my psyche, became badly damaged.
What changed me?! Honestly nothing at first. I just got bored doing that meaningless sh*t. Got into relationships, failed at relationships, but at least I wasn’t just being used. I hate that feeling. Now it’s difficult for me to even be thought of as just a sexual being, but I know that I still present my self as such. Men delight in my sexual appetite. Know that I’m freaky by nature. I will sext, maybe exchange pictures, glorify cunnilingus and fellatio, flirt, and allow my a** to be patted, pu**y teased, but that doesn’t satisfy me anymore. Trying desperately to alter that perception, I often falter. Someone please see me as more than just a sexy personality, but as a beautifully crazy, cool, dramatic, caring woman who just happens to entice your sensual side, peak your sexual interest, and elevates your freaky potential.

Dominique L. Grant

Randomtrustory.blogspot.com

Dominique.grant1987@yahoo.com

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